Worldwide Wanderers

This one is a bit delayed as with all the lockdown excitement I forgot to hit post! one disclosure needed….all adventures happened before lockdown….

It was incredibly tempting not to write anything about our campervan adventures around the South Island of New Zealand and just share some pictures as no words could ever do justice to the breathtaking, heart stopping scenery it has to offer. New Zealand has been always been on my bucket list and I was beyond excited to experience it with Pads and the kids. Whenever E & G were asked about what they were most looking forward to about this adventure, the answer was always “the campervan”…mainly because of the upstairs bed! Pads was a little cautious, not sure caravan or mobile homes featured in his childhood holidays!…but clearly my early caravan adventures with Nan and Grandad at the New Forest and Isle of Wight has left a warm place in my heart for any kind of mobile home adventure…..

We spent a few days in Christchurch before picking up the campervan, it’s a city still rebuilding from the devastating earthquake and we were a little unsettled but just how few people were around! It felt incredibly quiet after the bustling vibe of Melbourne. The street art and food scene really showed the city’s story and you can feel it’s on the cusp on truly coming back to life. It was also a brilliant opportunity for Pads to catch up with his old friend Matt and his wife Rae who really looked after us and showed us the beautiful areas surrounding Christchurch, Sumner and Lyttleton.

Pick up a day arrived…felt a little bit like Christmas! Our first impressions were “it’s a bit bloody big!’, followed by Pads muttering “you are not driving this!”…. I pointed out we had both the full insurance package so he had no need to worry….he actually looked even more concerned! After lots of explanations about “stuff” (left this bit to Pads), we stocked up at the supermarket – such a treat after 2 months, unpacked the bags which was an even bigger treat and set off to explore. We really didn’t get very far due to all the faffing about and before we knew it the sun was coming down. We quickly realised a free camping app was going to be our best friend and this co-piloting malarkey was probably going to end in divorce! After a small fallout mainly caused by my complete inability to follow google maps and Pads sheer exasperation trying to explain that turning the phone in different directions doesn’t help, we found a field to park up in. My romantic vision of camping under the stars was quickly shattered, to be honest I was massively freaked out by sleeping in a field with other people with only a small plastic door between us…was pretty much convinced we were all going to be murdered in our sleep!. It was also absolutely bloody freezing – I ended up wearing pretty much all my clothes including my sarong wrapped around my head as a turban – think some shopping may need to be done! Some drama ensued in the morning about no water, emptying waste…. absolutely no idea what he was talking about, I was just horrified that I couldn’t plug in my straighteners….we luxuriated in the fact that we could move without having to pack up all our bags….!

Feeling a bit more confident and sure of ourselves we set off in earnest to the gorgeous Lake Tekapo. Campervan driving takes a little bit of getting used to and there’s a few rules to follow. Firstly, you need to make sure all your cupboard doors are shut…learnt this the hard way when the kids nearly got decapitated by the full contents of cupboards falling on them. Secondly, a campervan is a bit wider and higher than a normal car…..might have inadvertently mounted a few curbs and taken out a few branches on some low hanging trees. Thirdly, you can’t go as fast as other vehicles so you need to pull over when the locals want to get past or they give you a very clear Kiwi signal….the kids learnt the middle finger very quickly and it’s now a firm favourite!

Ahh Lake Tekapo…..you took our breath away, the colour of the water was iridescent blue, the clouds were so close you wanted to touch them and the backdrop of the mountains made you feel incredibly small. The great thing about New Zealand is that you don’t actually have to do anything apart from just sit and watch – it’s like a relaxation, mediation, therapy course for free! We settled on freedom camping by the shores of Lake Pukaki – just us, the lake and the stars…this was exactly what I envisaged. E made dinner with some fresh Salmon…..and we relaxed with some wine chilled in the lake….could get used to this..and this time got Pads to sleep by the door so felt a lot less likely we’d get murdered in our sleep!

From the shores of Lake Tekapo to the peaks of Mount Cook…..the freedom of waking up and deciding what to do was a huge lesson in living in the present. As it was a fairly straight road to Mt Cook I was let loose for my first solo driving…pretty impressive even if I say so myself and as there was no need for any navigation we arrived still talking to each other. After an easy walk to the Tasman Lake we saw our first Glacier…sobering to see how climate change has impacted this environment and you couldn’t help but take a moment to reflect. As the sun was setting on our return from the Glacier we decided to sleep under the mountain – as soon as the sun is disappeared the temperature plummeted and we realised why everyone around us had proper winter gear – we were soo cold we all slept together! An early morning rise beckoned so we could complete the Hooker Valley Walk to the base of Mount Cook, we were so badly prepared it was quite laughable…..Pads actually refused to take a picture of us as he was so mortified – well he was wearing a pair of Barbour shoes, jeans and a linen shirt! Along with the posh camper we looked like a real bunch of twats!

A long drive back past Lake Pukaki, through the quaint town of Twizel and on through Omarama, lead us to what has been called the most beautiful place on earth, Wanaka. I’m not sure I could disagree – the lake, the mountains, the rivers were exceptionally. By this point however we realised we were fighting a losing battle against the cold, so conceded and booked into a camping site to plug in the heater, do some washing and shower in a place where you didn’t have to practice yoga at the same time in order to wash your hair (those shower cubicles are tiny!)!. We seemed to have swiftly adopted 1920’s gender roles on this trip, after a half hearted attempt from me to empty the “stuff” from the van Pads decided it would be less drama to do it himself, and I gratefully accepted in favour of the laundry and cleaning….I may have taken feminism back 50 years but think i got the better end of the deal!

We loved Wanaka so much that the planned few days turned into five and we still weren’t ready to leave (Ms Shaw….we support the intended move – just get a house big enough for lots of visitors as we’ll definitely be back!). We walked till our legs hurt, we paddled in the rivers, we ran the local park run and snuffled fabulous ice-creams…..it was bliss. No trip to NZ is complete without the mandatory jet boat experience – E&G were beyond excited but were left slightly underwhelmed as wanted it to be faster, scarier, more turns (seriously!)……the amazing Ryan managed to placate them by letting them drive the boat themselves…! A long explore down the Clutha River gave us a chance to sit and remember Paul on his anniversary – 2 years seems to have gone by in a blink of an eye, we floated some wild flowers down the river and watched the Salmon jumping through the rapids thinking how much he would have loved to have fished this river.

After tearing ourselves away from Wanaka we headed far south to the Fjordland National Park. The kids were mesmerised by the Glo Worms experience over Lake Te Anau and loved the cave exploration…..it felt a little like the boat trip in Willy Wonka – just replace the sweets with Glo Worms! We were really hoping to get up to Milford Sounds but the recent flooding had made the road unpassable so we decided to stay at Manapouri and explore Doubtful Sound ….such an unforgettable trip! The Fjordlands are absolutely breathtaking and with the weather in our favour we managed to travel all the way through to Thompson Sound. There was an opportunity on the boat to stop in the middle of the Sounds where they switch off the engine, ask everyone to switch off their digital bits and sit in silence for 5 minutes….pure mindfulness and impeccably timed given the oncoming chaos….

A brief stop in Queenstown, where to be honest unless you’re a backpacker wanting to throw yourself out of planes, hurtle down mountains or go canyoning – anything that could basically result in death – we headed off to the remote West Coast. This part of New Zealand is beyond remote and at some parts of the year is cut off from the rest of the island due to flooding and landslides. The coast is incredibly rugged and reminded us of the South West Coastline (minuses the Glaciers and hotpots!).

As the weather started to turn we spent a few days hiking Fox Glacier and Franz Josef before heading up the coast to Hokitika and Greymouth.

A stop at Hokitika for some fish and chips in the rain, some newly purchased board games and a couple of nights at Greymouth reminded us very much of home. As the clouds parted and the sun started to peak through we got ready to hit the wine lands of Marlborough and Blenheim – the part that Pads had been really look forward to!. And then we heard that the world was about to stop and breathe for a while – we had 36 hours until lockdown and some tough decisions to make….

A rather hectic 36 hours left us with little alternative but to find a spot to hangout on the South Island whilst we sat out lockdown. All flights from Christchurch were fully booked, as was the ferry to the North Island so we couldn’t get a flight out of Auckland. We spent the final night before lockdown in a rather strange campsite in a town of 150 people seriously debating whether we should stay there in the van for the whole period……after a rather scary night where i was convinced the van was going to blow over, and we were in some kind of post apocalyptic nightmare we quickly decided to airbnb it! With a heavy heart we traded in the campervan for a Bach in the woodlands in the beautiful wine lands of Mapua.

We couldn’t have asked for a better spot, surrounded by the most colourful scenery, fab weather and super kind people who lent us some bikes, Lego and paints for the kids. We hunkered down, watched movies, homeschooled, cooked some questionable cake creations, argued a fair bit and learnt how to just be! One of the things I was looking for when we started this was to really switch off and spend proper time together as a family….certainly achieved that one!

Lockdown quickly became the new normal and a move to a new Bach for Stage 3 gave us the opportunity to widen our bubble a little bit. How amazing being able to walk on the beach, grab a coffee and just get outside..it felt like the best present ever……

We had a full weekend of lockdown celebrations in May and thought what a brilliant chance to fully embrace the creativity of new online experiences. For E’s 8th Birthday we had a ridiculously fun virtual penguin experience with the amazing Jon from AfriOceans Conservation Alliance (who was of course dressed like a penguin!) where we learnt all about the endangered African Penguin and got a bit of competitive family drawing in (I soooooooo won!). Deborah’s birthday gave us the chance to try out group yoga with her beautiful friends plus a variety of uninvited cats, dogs and babies! And how could you not love a bit of chanting and meditation with a Japanese Buddhist Monk….some serious attacks of the giggles made it slightly uncomfortable but my stomach muscles had a huge workout!. Another great surprise was a second Mother’s Day as it’s celebrated on a different day in NZ so I got a double treat – chocolate meditation with Ana from Mexico….Am seriously loving these online lockdown experiences!!

But enough of lockdown….wanderlust is starting to call and we’re repacking the bags!

We’ve spent the last two weeks enveloped in a super special bubble of catching up with some old and not so old friends who have been kind enough to to share their houses, recommendations and even some Australian wine….

The utterly generous Shaw Family welcomed us to their gorgeous Sydney home in classic South African style – lots of meat, wine and competitive sport! We stayed in beautiful Freshwater and got to explore the gorgeous beaches, ocean pools and coastline of the Northern beaches. Some proper tourist sightseeing gave us our first glimpse of the iconic Sydney Opera House and Sydney Harbour Bridge leaving us feeling that the whole experience was a little surreal as we sat on top of an extremely windy Manly Ferry. The kids had a brilliant time reuniting with Michael and Georgia – E and Michael were born about 7 days apart and at completely different ends of the size scale….thank goodness she is at last catching up to him! They had a great day at Luna Park all together and were delighted to have some little friends to hang out with it…..also gave Pads and I a bit of a break! Obviously staying with Lynsey was going to involve some kind of ridiculous sporting activity – this is the girl that entered me for my first triathlon 8 months after I had E and not realising I was 2 months pregnant with G….! Lynsey kindly offered me two options – a morning run, she’s completed two comrades marathons….so that was a clear no!, or a “little swim” – reckoned my chances were much better with this one. Off we treked to Manly Beach at the crack of dawn for the legendary Bold and Beautiful swim, outwardly I was styling it out but inside had more than a little trepidation. Bold and Beautiful is basically a daily morning swim of 1.5km across the Manly Bay undertaken by about 400 open water swimmers wearing bright pink caps (I’m guessing so they can be found if they get lost)…you swim to one side of the bay, wait for everyone to finish and then swim back….I was having visions of everyone else having lunch whilst I struggled across! A deep breath and in we dived…quickly I caught my breath (bloody freezing) and propelled by the absolute horror of being the last person stuck my head down and swam. Amazingly, baring a few collisions and kicks we were at the top of the pack and managed to catch some breath waiting for the rest to finish. Emboldened with some confidence and some rather snazzy flippers off we swam only to realise I’d lost my way a little bit and joined the 6km group……expertly saved by the brilliant Lynsey who was the best swimming buddy ever we popped out the other end for a well deserved coffee and muffin! The kids also got the chance to take part in the Freshwater Swim Club races and loved competing with the local kids in the ocean pool. If you’re looking for a bootcamp week…..get in touch with the Shaws – we left feeling super strong, healthy and more than a little loved! Pads couldn’t have received a better birthday gift as a reminder

After a quick flight down to Melbourne we hit the Great Ocean Road- stunning scenery although the weather was a bit of a shock…..

Next stop Melbourne…everyone we’ve met has raved about Melbourne and we got to see why – it was our favourite city in Australia….gritty, urban, arty, ridiculous food and with lashings of rain – we needed a reminder of home!

Nats embraced our arrival with a unbelievable dinner at Miznon – brisket wrapped in cabbage, slow roasted octopus and a new found family favourite of roasted cauliflower…she’d set the standard high! Caroline, the kids old Head of School at ISU bundled us into her car and took us on a beautiful wine tasting tour of the Yarra valley – lunch at Innocent Bystander with the most delicious Rose, tastings at Chandon for their bubbles…bubbly Pinot noir was a little odd! then on to Coombe Wine Estate where we were really spolit…shame they are too small a vineyard to export!. Dinner with the fabulous Fi who I hadn’t seen in 15 years gave us a chance to reminisce and ponder how we got quite so old! Then we got a double dose of Nats who gave us the Nats Roberts Tour of Melbourne – highly recommended and happy to put you in touch – South Melbourne Market where we ate far too much again, Euerka Tower gave us an amazing view of the skyline, and a strangely slow electric boat ride down the Yarra all topped off with some ice cream!

Our tummies are so bloody full of delicious food and our hearts warm from catching up with some wonderful friends…the perfect way to leave Australia – I’ve been converted and I’m sure we’ll be back….

I had three goals for this trip…the first one was spending some real time as a family which we have definitely achieved, so much so I’m now craving a little bit of space, I mean I love them dearly but this one room living is getting a bit much! Second was to really focus on my mindfulness practise……..ummm apart from hanging out with the Buddhist Monks in Cambodia this needs a lot more work and third was to learn to surf! A week in Coolum Bay on the Sunshine Coast was the perfect spot for beginners Surf School. Off we headed each morning at 6.30 for a two hour lesson whilst the sun was coming up and glistening off the waves – Pads unsurprisingly decided to keep his dignity in tact and watch from the shore! After some near mishaps with surfboards being flung everywhere, bikini bottoms flying periously low and an awful lot of sea water swallowed we all managed to catch our first wave! Apparently I have a very strong “pop” which I took great delight in relaying to Pads at every opportunity….. I knew those burpees would pay off! Watching the videos back it definitely didn’t look as impressive as it felt – I could have sworn the waves were three times the size and that we went much faster! Pads couldn’t contain his hysterics when he pointed out the instructor was holding the back of our boards for most of our successful attempts! We bloody loved it and left Surf School week with faces more tanned than the rest of our body and sore in places I didn’t know existed…..bring on Surf School New Zealand….h

Just to top off a bit more water fun we found out that Coolum is also home to the world’s biggest Aquapark – there was no getting out of taking the kids to this one. We’ve got a pre arranged Watkins/Lowen family Bewl Water Aquapark date booked for when we’re back in July so thought we should put in some proper training. Bloody hell…I have a new found respect for Wipeout contestants ….. I was bloody rubbish and I swear there was more dignity in childbirth than there was trying to complete this course…my stomach hurt from laughter and my bottom from falling on it far too much!

After a quick visit to Australia Zoo which after our ridiculously wonderful wildlife experiences across Africa was a bit of a disappointment we hit BrisVegas….a super fun city. The food was some of the best we have had, the art scene was incredible and G got the opportunity to practise some of his stand up comedy……was incredibly funny after second glass of wine!

A very relaxing 6 hour train journey on the Spirit of Queensland took us to magical Magnetic Island….what a special place! We hiked, hiked and hiked some hikes which due to the remoteness of the bays and lack of roads on the Island is the only way you can really explore. We set off full steam walking from Horseshoe Bay to Radical Bay over the coastal rocks slightly apprehensive of crocodiles and snakes ( you really wouldn’t have thought we’d lived in Africa for 10 years) and arrived at a beautifully isolated beach far sweatier and hotter than we had ever been. After catching our breath under a coconut tree where there was a random piano (!!) we realised the kids were not going to make the trek back…ever resourceful Pads noticed a group of Aussies who’d arrived by speedboat and were celebrating in classic style with a few cans of beer in the ocean. After a brief chat we’d managed to bag a ride back on the boat…hysterically the guy announced he’d had “too many tinnies” and insisted Pads drove the boat back…he was in heaven! An evening hike to Hawkins Point to watch the sunset was slightly easier and armed with a bottle of Aussie plonk we watched the sun go down – the walk back down after a few glasses and in pitch black proved a little more challenging!.

Still on the search for some Australian wildlife we headed out super early to Bremner Point to have breakfast with the rock wallabies. The famous Fort Walk beckoned which gave us the most amazing views of the Island and allowed us to spot a koala – ridiculously cute and I may even have let out a little squeak of joy. On the way back Pads delightedly informed everyone we met along the path about where the Koala was and ended up leading a tour group of about 15 to see the little fella…..!

A slightly delayed overnight train journey on the Spirit of Queensland meant we got to hang out at a proper Australian Pub and indulge in our first Schooner….and maybe our second! A long debate ensued about what on earth a “POKIE” was…Pads’ shout of a hot dog was far off the mark and my guess of an adult only viewing room was widely wrong….apparently it’s slot machines! So excited we were by our traditional Aus experience we (I) managed to lose our wallet ….. thankfully we were reunited with it the next day!

We were emphatically told that you couldn’t visit Queensland without sailing around the Whitsundays….the best recommendation we’ve been given and we are in love with this group of Islands. Ridiculously amazing and the photos don’t even do it justice. We spent two nights on a beautiful catamaran sailing to beautiful bays, snorkelling amongst the reef which was the colour of rainbows, trying to find our feet with paddle boarding (not that successfully!), magical star gazing late into the night and just totally switching off. The only downside was that it was so bloody hot that we ended up sleeping with our heads out of the cabin windows and had some rather burnt feet from the incredibly hot deck! Special, special, special.

A quick hop on back on the Spirit of Queensland and we arrived in Harvey Bay to explore Fraser Island and the best tour guide ever in the history of Tour guides..Shed – his name was actually Sid but I was convinced he’d said Shed so continued to call him it all day whilst Pads looked on slightly bemused. He was hysterical and talked incessantly from the moment we met until we left, literally only stopping to catch a breath. We knew it was going to be a fairly amusing day when having pulled up to the ferry crossing, Shed jumps out of the van to chat to his mates and leaves the hand break off…a poor guy had to jump into the cab head first to stop us crashing – didn’t bode well for a full day of 4×4 driving on the beaches! Fraser Island is made up entirely of sand and boasts amazing rainforest, the 75 mile beach, Eli Creek and McKenzie Lake – was incredible to see such diversity in such a small area. Although I wish we’d known quite how bumpy the experience was going to be as I would definitely have worn a sports bra and not sat right at the back with the To top it all off we nearly missed the ferry back to the mainland as Shed was regaling us with stories of Steve Irwin..made it with moments to spare which was lucky as otherwise we would have to have spent the night one the beach with the dingos!

Next stop Coolum bay and surf school….bloody hell!…if our paddle boarding escapades are anything to go by we are in serious trouble!….

We landed in Cairns dreaming of Koala Bears, Kangaroos, Dingos, Wallabies, and meeting couples named Bruce and Sheila whilst humming “Suddenly” by Angry Anderson incessantly…(you know you remember it off by heart!…think it was my first every vinyl way before vinyl was considered cool). Disclaimer up front that I’ve never had any real desire to travel to Australia so I had little expectations….surely the best way to travel!

First stop was Cairns where we stayed at a brilliant hostel called Bounce, to be honest probably much more enjoyable if you’re 19 which most of the people staying there were……I styled it out whereas Pads maybe not so much (!). I couldn’t avoid the looks of horror on people’s faces as the kids tried to join their game of pool and volleyball in the pool – nothing like a 6 and 7 year old to disrupt the drinking games and heavy petting! To stop us sinking into depression we hit the Vietnamese Banh Mi shop….these things are seriously addictive!

We spent a few days driving up the North Queensland coast to Palm Cove, Port Douglas and Daintree Rainforest. An unbelievably beautiful coastline with blue seas, pristine rural beaches all surrounded by lush rainforest. The only slight problem with exploring Northern Queensland in February is the heat and humidity….we had no idea it was going to be quite so sticky….even the sea was like sinking into a a warm bath! It’s also jellyfish season during February so you can only swim within the stinger nets…gave it a try but quite quickly jumped out as I’m sure I could feel things stroking my legs and the kids kept looking for sharks and jellyfish!

Queensland is home to the Great Barrier Reef so first opportunity we had we jumped on a Catamaran to explore the northern reefs – we had an amazing day sailing the Low Isles, Coral Cay Island, swimming with sharks, and snorkelling around the reef. It was a great opportunity for the kids to do some school work on climate change and the oceans…letter to António Guterres winging it’s way to UN Headquarters from G asking for a global ban of plastic!

A leisurely drive back down the coast allowed us to explore Mossman Gorge and hike up Stoney Creek waterfall…the fresh water pools were amazing to swim in and offered some relief from the stifling heat. We were all going well until E, G and I decided to walk back down the Waterfall through the rock pools and G cut his leg on a rock…with blood rushing from his leg and screams of “I can see my bone” (he seems to have inherited the Bayliss exaggeration gene – it was just a scratch!)…I had it totally under control well until E & I fell into a deep waterhole and both kids started shouting for Daddy!…..Pads came to the rescue and fished us all out – quite clearly no one would pick me for their team for SAS Survivor.

No Koalas, Kangaroos, Dingos, Wallabies, Bruce or Sheila’s yet….utter disappointment! Thankfully it gets cooler the further down the coast you travel….here’s hoping so as my hair has never been bigger and my freckles never quite so many!…

After another dodgy accommodation booking…I really haven’t covered myself in glory with my accommodation choices for Cambodia….we ended up swiftly moving to a little place across the road where the room at least had windows and the swimming pool wasn’t being used to wash clothes! One of the main reasons to explore Cambodia was to spend some time at Angkor Archeological Park and the many many temples….safe to say that this was much higher up on my agenda than anyone else’s! Armed with my full and slightly ambitious schedule of temple exploring we were ready to go although I can’t say that my excitement was matched by P, E & G but to be fair I think my enthusiasm was enough for all of us. We worked out quite quickly that you could spend weeks at the Archeological Park and still miss some of the hidden gems but with our local tuk tuk driver (quite how we managed to get the slowest tuk tuk driver of all time I have no idea!) we (mainly I) set off on a determined mission to see as much as we could…..

We spent the first day exploring the Bayon Temple and Phnom Bakheng and only just started to hear the murmurings of “they all look the same” and “once you’ve seen one temple you’ve seen them all” by about 5pm. Not to be defeated I rallied the fairly despondent troops for a 5am start the next morning to see the sunrise of Angkor Wat promising a deeply serene, meditative and peaceful experience. Unfortunately we were to be greeted with something that looked slightly more like Black Friday at Asda with people rushing in the dark to get the best spots by the lake in front of the temple and over enthusiastic stall holders pretending to be Harry Potter or James Bond offering exhorbiantly priced coffee. Whilst finding a quiet spot away from the crowds we saw the sun rise behind the temple which was pretty amazing to see but really slightly ruined by the insane amount of selfie sticks, clicking of cameras and hoards of people. My impromptu art class of temple drawing followed which E embraced with pure enthusiasm, G lasted about 5mins before he got distracted and Pads literally walked off before we started. An afternoon exploring the smaller temples off the beaten track beckoned…if you ever get the chance to go these smaller temples are the ones to explore. Ta Prohm, made famous in Tomb Raider (knew there was value in showing it to the kids), was the clear favourite, totally magical and allowed us to explore the ruins, marvel at the ridiculous shapes of the trees growing through the ruins and try some pretty advanced vine climbing. I also got to experience one of my wishes to spend some time meditating with the temple monks and we were blessed to be given a special family Buddhist blessing…truly memorable…until the kids started to giggle when sprayed with holy water!

It was quite clear that I had exhausted my temple exploring schedule so conceded to a morning Zip Wiring through the canopy’s of Angkor Wat Archelogical Park….kids loved it and the honeymoon swing allowed Pads and I too recreate our very own Tarzan and Jane moment…although slightly less elegantly and thankfully more fully clothed!

Siem Reap gave us the opportunity to overindulge with ridiculously cheap massages which were on offer on every street corner (E now thinks are going to be a regular part of this trip…how sorely she is mistaken…), copious amount of chicken rice and some of the best ice cream we’ve tasted..What a perfect way to a finish our time in Cambodia…

We knew that we were going to be in need of some R&R after Vietnam and Cambodia so we smashed the budget and stayed in a gorgeous 3 bedroom villa with private pool in beautiful Bali. Slight waste as needless to say the kids refused to sleep in their own room so we all ended up bunking into together…..looks like we’ll only need a 1 bed house when we finish this trip! E&G really deserved a treat after the numerous temple escapades and genocide museums so we decided to surprise them with a day at Waterboom – Bali’s premier water park….ridiculously fun although by the 8th time down “The Python” I was starting to feel a little sick! A day soaking up the sun at one of the Island’s famous beach clubs followed and we all felt reinvigorated and ready to hit Australia!

Battambang offers a slice of the traditional Cambodia….along with some delicious Khmer food, incredibly cheap beer and the friendliest people…we loved it…!

After my Phnom Penh Chinese brothel dodgy booking Pads decided to double check the accommodation I’d booked for Battambang…….a worrying question of “what exactly was the reason for booking this one?” followed and a quick review of comments left by previous guests about cockroaches, rubbish in the pool and rooms only accessible by windows led to a list minute rebooking. I was gutted as I was still arguing that although the brothel wasn’t ideal it was at least cheap and saved us some money, the booking cancellation left me with no argument! Am so glad we did rebook as we stayed in an amazing little gem with a gorgeous pool, wonderful staff and a bath!. Battambang gives you a view into old Cambodia coupled with an interesting art and cafe scene…it’s also by far the cheapest stops we’ve made. The NGO community here is also incredible and there are fantastic community partnerships with lots of the restaurants, hostels and tour operators.

The Bamboo train was ridiculously fun and a little bizarre……you basically sit on some old cushions on some strips of bamboo attached to a motor and rush through the Cambodian countryside at 30mph…if you meet anyone coming the opposite way you need to dismantle your “carriage” and remove it from the tracks to let them pass….kids absolutely loved it!

We’d been advised that we should get out into the countryside as much as possible so booked a half day bike tour with Soskabike, a sustainable eco tourist outfit which takes you a gentle 20km meander through the local villages visiting local families and learning how they are keeping alive traditions.. had a pretty good attempt at rolling out some rice paper, ate some delicious dried banana and avoided the rice wine with the fermented snack. Was a brilliant experience but a Cambodian 20km is definitely not my idea of 20km..5 hours after we started we were still cycling in the burning sun with our local guide keep saying only 1.5km to go which he’d been saying for the last 2 hours! I’m starting to realise that the kids are at an age where they pick up everything you say and have no qualms about repeating it….normally at top volume in the most in appropriate setting…Gabriel was clearly listening to me intently and announced as he sat down in a packed cafe “ s**t my undercrackers….”…must watch what I say…

Phare Ponleu Selpak Circus (Phareps.org) was the most fabulous recommendation, an NGO for disadvantaged youngsters focussing on promoting and keeping alive Cambodia arts and culture which was banned under the Khmer Rouge . It was amazing…Ridiculously talented performers, imaginative production and hilarious content! Gabriel was quick to point out the very impressive tumbler who had “huge muscles” – couldn’t say I noticed although he with lithe, flexible, able to bend in ways you could only imagine, a very rhythmic hip action….I think Pads had picked up my distraction and trying to reclaim some masculinity told me how he used to be very good with a yo-yo…..snapping back out of my daydream I tried to cover my tracks and said I would be very excited to see his “round the world” trick. I’ve already googled and there is another show in Siem Reap….all booked!

Those that know me well will know that I have a massive phobia of anything that flaps….I’m trying to work out how so far this trip I’ve managed to be subjected to duck massages, pigeon feeding and now the bat cave…..nothing like sitting underneath 7 million bats that fly out of a cave every evening at 5pm. Spent a good 45 minutes in a state of fear which the kids found highly amusing especially when I noticed I was covered in bat poo and thought it had started to rain….bat wee…

Siem Reap next…..I offered to take over home schooling for the morning to give Pads a break…needless to say the kids loved Tomb Raider and I got a little bit of sunshine!

So we’re obviously not going to love every place we explore, but we hope that we can understand a bit of it’s heartbeat and find something that makes us smile..

Ummm….Phnom Penh – you were just far too weird, dark and seedy for us….so much so we legged it within 36 hours!

The journey itself began really rather strangely and should have been a sign of things to come. The reviews of driving from HCMC to Phnom Penh were more than a little frightening with stories of drivers falling asleep at the wheel, sharing seats and dodgy border crossings so we took the very quick, 28 minutes flight from HCMC where we were only 4 of about 50 passengers on a 777. I have never got on a flight where you are invited to sit anywhere you like, informed that it’s not worth taking your seat belt off and the safety demonstration is followed immediately but the landing announcement. Another rather officious immigration process left us with a slight dilemma. A Chinese teenager who didn’t speak much English had got himself stuck between immigration and freedom with no money for a visa (his Dad apparently had it who was waiting for him in the arrivals hall) was asking for help. After a gut reaction of “sorry no this sounds like scam written all over it” the kids reminded us that we must always be kind….so we offered to give him the money for his visa. He then stuck with us through bag collection at which point I had a panic that we were all going to end up in a Cambodian jail for assisting drug trafficking. After we collected the bags I got separated by Pads and ended up walking out sandwiched between some rather serious looking Cambodian Police Officers…Pads nearly had a heart attack thinking the worst! Moral of the story is obviously its great to help people but maybe not at the expense of a life sentence in a Cambodian jail….. Thankfully the story ended well with faith in humanity restored, and the boys Dad was indeed waiting for him, with the money (plus a little extra!…..just enough in fact for a rather stiff G&T!)

I had been really boasting about my bargain USD35 a night 2 bed Cambodian accommodation gem…..that’ll teach me! If you thought China was big in Africa, Cambodia is literally being built by the Chinese….every building, bridge, supermarket, construction site was branded with Chinese backers. As our taxi pulled up to the imposing 1960’s style high rise apartment block there was a collective gasp of shock …. of course followed by a very British “put your big girl pants on” approach…it surely can’t be that bad. Well….have you ever stayed in a Chinese built apartment block, that isn’t actually finished, and you’re the only people staying there….on the 23rd floor! Unbelievably bizarre….the two rooms in fact turned out to be one room with two double beds….thank goodness as there was no way I would have slept in different rooms, selflessly also insisted Pads slept closest to the door. The more concerning thing was the posters all over the building that said “no sex service and no drugs” (there were some other informative posters that were far too dark to mention) – I literally think we’d booked into some kind of weird Chinese brothel….

After a rather fitful nights sleep with one eye open (I was sure we were going to be murdered in our beds or some sex party was going to invade the flat) …we set off on a tuk tuk tour. The visit to the Killing Fields was incredibly emotional and thought provoking…..to be honest it was worth experiencing the dark side of the city to reflect and learn more about the Khmer Rouge and the horror of Pol Pot’s regime. A quick tour around the central market, Royal Palace and temple’s was enough for the kids to conclude that Phnom Penh “stinks” more than Bangkok and Pads & I to work out we’d probably knocked a few years off our lives by breathing in the heavily polluted city air.

A little bit jaded but not defeated we thought we’d head to the night market and for dinner…hoping that the city would show us a different side. Oh she did but far stranger that we would have ever dreamed. As we had dinner a very sweet Cambodian couple sat next to us and proceeded to put a very life like doll on their table, stroked her hair, kissed her lips and then cradled her like a real life baby…..E & G were transfixed and couldn’t stop staring, slightly uncomfortable after a while, until……they noticed the couple on the other side. A rather portly middle aged American gentleman with a gorgeous Cambodain woman. Evangeline was mesmorised…”mummy, look at her nails…Mummy, look at her really long eyelashes……….mummy……why does she speak like a man”……kids have no volume control so some more discomfort followed and a rather long conversation ensued about LGBTI?+……we had LGBT covered but must admit struggled on the I?+ explanation….We did say this trip was about learning!

After tuk tuk’ing back through the arid pollution we arrived back at the weird Chinese Brothel high rise only to meet a man putting up more “no sex – service” posters and quickly decided to leg it as soon as possible the next morning…..on a positive note I packed my backpack the quickest ever….

Battambang…..please be more gentle with us!

Felt slightly strange being back in Ho Chi Minh without Debs and Jamie being there…especially as we’d manage to get an airbnb in their old apartment block. I’d had such fun times here before so it felt very special to share it with the rest of the clan…

Ho Chi Minh formally Saigon (or depending on who you are chatting to still Saigon) is a vibrant, energetic city full to bursting with motorbikes and covered in a deep haze for most of the day. We’ve noticed the pollution in the cities we’ve been to has been crazy….

We took a speedboat down the Mekong River to the Cu Chi Tunnels, it’s the third time I’ve done this trip and you learn something new every time. Last time I came I was heavily pregnant with G and had no chance of squeezing myself and bump into the tiny tunnel and remember finding it very amusing when Jamie got stuck with his incredibly broad shoulders…no such trouble this time….we all squeezed in to the tiny tunnel! The kids were fascinated with the history and after E approached the long tunnels with a little trepidation she followed her brother to the furthest point they could go. The shooting range in the middle of the jungle was a bit bizarre and we were slightly taken back by the enthusiasm of those in our group who couldn’t wait to fire a submachine gun and AK47….no need to guess their nationality! There was some excitement on the way back when the speedboat came to a rather abrupt stop in the middle of the rather busy Mekong River and we started to drift quite purposefully towards the columns of a large bridge. After some subtle panic, knives were brandished and some rather energetic hacking of some rope which had attached itself to the outboard motor ensued. Thankfully the current took us wide of the bridge column and we then just had to keep an eye on avoiding the huge barges! As E pointed out at least there’s no hippos or crocodiles in the water so we can swim if we needed to….

After a quick revision on Jamie’s Vietnamese negotiation skills audio guides we hit the Ben Thanh market…..can safely say that J would be horrified by my attempts. After some pretty aggressive haggling on my part I believed I’d got myself a real bargain and excitedly told Pads about my expert negotiation skills…..as he responded with a “you paid what?” An awful realisation hit that I’d got my zero’s confused and had in fact paid £15 for something that should have been £1.50….I did wonder why the lady was staring at me with an enormous smile on her face…am now banned from any future market engagements…..

We got the amazing gift of a cooking lesson at Saigon Cooking School from D&J for Christmas….Pads couldn’t have been more excited and I think had secretly been rewatching Masterchef Australia to get himself ready. I was a little concerned when the instructor chef appeared to be the twin sister of Monica Galetti – equally as scary and not sure I believed her when she said that this should be fun. Oh my goodness – I found it so stressful I nearly cried…I literally felt like I was taking part in one of those Masterchef challenges where you had to follow the chef but with the added stress of making sure two little people didn’t cut their fingers off or burn the place down. E was determined to use the massive cleaver knife in a rather flamboyant fashion and nearly took the arm off of the person next to her whilst G was copying his dad intently…so much so that he didn’t realise he’d set his cooking apron on fire and only realised when one of the assistants started dousing him in water. Unsurprisingly Pads was in his element, overflowing with confidence until he realised he’d put waaaay to much chilli in his dipping sauce but was far too proud to admit it…..he styled it out well. We cooked three not only edible (that would have been enough for me) but delicious dishes and more importantly after I’d got over my initial shock spent most of the lesson laughing at the back of the class..

A poignant trip to the War Remnants museum formally know as The Museum of America War Crimes seemed a fitting way to reflect on the journey this beautiful country has taken, the resilience of it’s people and a lesson in forgiveness. No words can really describe the brutality of the Vietnam War and the impact it had on families across the country but the few hours we spent here meant that we all learned an awful lot. The country seems to be changing at such a rapid pace that it was a real blessing to be able to still experience some of the traditional aspects it offers whilst also revelling in the excitement of the new…

Vietnam – I’m sure we’ll be back……