So we’re obviously not going to love every place we explore, but we hope that we can understand a bit of it’s heartbeat and find something that makes us smile..

Ummm….Phnom Penh – you were just far too weird, dark and seedy for us….so much so we legged it within 36 hours!

The journey itself began really rather strangely and should have been a sign of things to come. The reviews of driving from HCMC to Phnom Penh were more than a little frightening with stories of drivers falling asleep at the wheel, sharing seats and dodgy border crossings so we took the very quick, 28 minutes flight from HCMC where we were only 4 of about 50 passengers on a 777. I have never got on a flight where you are invited to sit anywhere you like, informed that it’s not worth taking your seat belt off and the safety demonstration is followed immediately but the landing announcement. Another rather officious immigration process left us with a slight dilemma. A Chinese teenager who didn’t speak much English had got himself stuck between immigration and freedom with no money for a visa (his Dad apparently had it who was waiting for him in the arrivals hall) was asking for help. After a gut reaction of “sorry no this sounds like scam written all over it” the kids reminded us that we must always be kind….so we offered to give him the money for his visa. He then stuck with us through bag collection at which point I had a panic that we were all going to end up in a Cambodian jail for assisting drug trafficking. After we collected the bags I got separated by Pads and ended up walking out sandwiched between some rather serious looking Cambodian Police Officers…Pads nearly had a heart attack thinking the worst! Moral of the story is obviously its great to help people but maybe not at the expense of a life sentence in a Cambodian jail….. Thankfully the story ended well with faith in humanity restored, and the boys Dad was indeed waiting for him, with the money (plus a little extra!…..just enough in fact for a rather stiff G&T!)

I had been really boasting about my bargain USD35 a night 2 bed Cambodian accommodation gem…..that’ll teach me! If you thought China was big in Africa, Cambodia is literally being built by the Chinese….every building, bridge, supermarket, construction site was branded with Chinese backers. As our taxi pulled up to the imposing 1960’s style high rise apartment block there was a collective gasp of shock …. of course followed by a very British “put your big girl pants on” approach…it surely can’t be that bad. Well….have you ever stayed in a Chinese built apartment block, that isn’t actually finished, and you’re the only people staying there….on the 23rd floor! Unbelievably bizarre….the two rooms in fact turned out to be one room with two double beds….thank goodness as there was no way I would have slept in different rooms, selflessly also insisted Pads slept closest to the door. The more concerning thing was the posters all over the building that said “no sex service and no drugs” (there were some other informative posters that were far too dark to mention) – I literally think we’d booked into some kind of weird Chinese brothel….

After a rather fitful nights sleep with one eye open (I was sure we were going to be murdered in our beds or some sex party was going to invade the flat) …we set off on a tuk tuk tour. The visit to the Killing Fields was incredibly emotional and thought provoking…..to be honest it was worth experiencing the dark side of the city to reflect and learn more about the Khmer Rouge and the horror of Pol Pot’s regime. A quick tour around the central market, Royal Palace and temple’s was enough for the kids to conclude that Phnom Penh “stinks” more than Bangkok and Pads & I to work out we’d probably knocked a few years off our lives by breathing in the heavily polluted city air.

A little bit jaded but not defeated we thought we’d head to the night market and for dinner…hoping that the city would show us a different side. Oh she did but far stranger that we would have ever dreamed. As we had dinner a very sweet Cambodian couple sat next to us and proceeded to put a very life like doll on their table, stroked her hair, kissed her lips and then cradled her like a real life baby…..E & G were transfixed and couldn’t stop staring, slightly uncomfortable after a while, until……they noticed the couple on the other side. A rather portly middle aged American gentleman with a gorgeous Cambodain woman. Evangeline was mesmorised…”mummy, look at her nails…Mummy, look at her really long eyelashes……….mummy……why does she speak like a man”……kids have no volume control so some more discomfort followed and a rather long conversation ensued about LGBTI?+……we had LGBT covered but must admit struggled on the I?+ explanation….We did say this trip was about learning!

After tuk tuk’ing back through the arid pollution we arrived back at the weird Chinese Brothel high rise only to meet a man putting up more “no sex – service” posters and quickly decided to leg it as soon as possible the next morning…..on a positive note I packed my backpack the quickest ever….

Battambang…..please be more gentle with us!

Felt slightly strange being back in Ho Chi Minh without Debs and Jamie being there…especially as we’d manage to get an airbnb in their old apartment block. I’d had such fun times here before so it felt very special to share it with the rest of the clan…

Ho Chi Minh formally Saigon (or depending on who you are chatting to still Saigon) is a vibrant, energetic city full to bursting with motorbikes and covered in a deep haze for most of the day. We’ve noticed the pollution in the cities we’ve been to has been crazy….

We took a speedboat down the Mekong River to the Cu Chi Tunnels, it’s the third time I’ve done this trip and you learn something new every time. Last time I came I was heavily pregnant with G and had no chance of squeezing myself and bump into the tiny tunnel and remember finding it very amusing when Jamie got stuck with his incredibly broad shoulders…no such trouble this time….we all squeezed in to the tiny tunnel! The kids were fascinated with the history and after E approached the long tunnels with a little trepidation she followed her brother to the furthest point they could go. The shooting range in the middle of the jungle was a bit bizarre and we were slightly taken back by the enthusiasm of those in our group who couldn’t wait to fire a submachine gun and AK47….no need to guess their nationality! There was some excitement on the way back when the speedboat came to a rather abrupt stop in the middle of the rather busy Mekong River and we started to drift quite purposefully towards the columns of a large bridge. After some subtle panic, knives were brandished and some rather energetic hacking of some rope which had attached itself to the outboard motor ensued. Thankfully the current took us wide of the bridge column and we then just had to keep an eye on avoiding the huge barges! As E pointed out at least there’s no hippos or crocodiles in the water so we can swim if we needed to….

After a quick revision on Jamie’s Vietnamese negotiation skills audio guides we hit the Ben Thanh market…..can safely say that J would be horrified by my attempts. After some pretty aggressive haggling on my part I believed I’d got myself a real bargain and excitedly told Pads about my expert negotiation skills…..as he responded with a “you paid what?” An awful realisation hit that I’d got my zero’s confused and had in fact paid £15 for something that should have been £1.50….I did wonder why the lady was staring at me with an enormous smile on her face…am now banned from any future market engagements…..

We got the amazing gift of a cooking lesson at Saigon Cooking School from D&J for Christmas….Pads couldn’t have been more excited and I think had secretly been rewatching Masterchef Australia to get himself ready. I was a little concerned when the instructor chef appeared to be the twin sister of Monica Galetti – equally as scary and not sure I believed her when she said that this should be fun. Oh my goodness – I found it so stressful I nearly cried…I literally felt like I was taking part in one of those Masterchef challenges where you had to follow the chef but with the added stress of making sure two little people didn’t cut their fingers off or burn the place down. E was determined to use the massive cleaver knife in a rather flamboyant fashion and nearly took the arm off of the person next to her whilst G was copying his dad intently…so much so that he didn’t realise he’d set his cooking apron on fire and only realised when one of the assistants started dousing him in water. Unsurprisingly Pads was in his element, overflowing with confidence until he realised he’d put waaaay to much chilli in his dipping sauce but was far too proud to admit it…..he styled it out well. We cooked three not only edible (that would have been enough for me) but delicious dishes and more importantly after I’d got over my initial shock spent most of the lesson laughing at the back of the class..

A poignant trip to the War Remnants museum formally know as The Museum of America War Crimes seemed a fitting way to reflect on the journey this beautiful country has taken, the resilience of it’s people and a lesson in forgiveness. No words can really describe the brutality of the Vietnam War and the impact it had on families across the country but the few hours we spent here meant that we all learned an awful lot. The country seems to be changing at such a rapid pace that it was a real blessing to be able to still experience some of the traditional aspects it offers whilst also revelling in the excitement of the new…

Vietnam – I’m sure we’ll be back……

Hoi An is covered with a thousand coloured lanterns, old ladies sitting by the side of the river with mesmerising faces selling floating candles all creating this beautiful rainbow of colour and mystery….if it wasn’t for the hundreds of tourists it would be truly magical! The food is also utterly incredible…the Banh Mi challenge continued and I can safely say I think we’ve had our lifetimes supply of bread, pork, weird pate and chilli sauce….Vegan February might be required!

We spent a few mornings on An Bang beach, jumping waves, building sandcastles and listening to the fabulously bad New Year Karaoke parties…..reckon even my attempts at stringing together a tune would have a chance of considered being vaguely acceptable here! The build up to Chinese New Year is everywhere and creating a real sense of celebration…

Hoi An gave us a chance to properly unpack, kick back, attempt to get into some kind of routine with the kids schooling – credit to Pads here as I have already been told categorically that my classroom assistant skills have a lot to be desired – so looks like it’s a morning routine of meditation, writing and Joe Wicks for me…..definitely not complaining!….We quite honestly did very little which was exactly what we were aiming for!….

If you ever get the chance to visit Vietnam you will be in for an amazing treat. Once you get through a rather officious immigration process which leaves you in no doubt you’re entering a Communist country the people are incredibly warm (although Gabriel was slightly alarmed when he was carried off to join a Vietnamese family photo session), the colours heartwarmingly vibrant and the food ridiculously delicious..

Africa’s song is her beautiful diversity of religion and worship which became ingrained into our mornings for the last 10 years waking up to the call to prayer or church choirs singing so it took us a while to realise why the mornings felt so quiet in Vietnam until we worked out that it is a predominately atheist country and their wake up call is the endless sound of scooter horns. The city of Hanoi is a gentle balance of French and Chinese influence – for a city of 8 million people there are also 4.5 million scooters – if you thought the Boda Boda’s of Kampala were hectic this is another level of chaos which made walking the streets a slightly unnerving experience.

We immersed ourselves in Hanoi’s eclectic history visiting Uncle Ho’s Mausoleum (although the microphones in the flower beds were slightly alarming), the Temple of Literature and a traditional water puppet show which Evangeline commented was lame, Gabriel fell asleep and when mentioned to Debs that we had been commented it had been the longest hour of her life…realised my love of puppet shows is a bit odd and perhaps not to be shared – it’s clearly borne out a visit to Bethnal Green Toy Museum with Dad…Dad – Evangeline is blaming you entirely!

Having been to Vietnam a few times to visit Debs and Jamie I thought who better to give us a crash course of Vietnamese language, bartering and culture.. Uncle Jamie definitely didn’t disappoint and after practising our pigeon Vietnamese and negotiation skills we hit the night markets….not sure what we missed but Pads went in strong on some sunglass bartering only for us all to be aggressively chased out of the shop by the owner shouting “no money”, I think perhaps we need a second lesson….

I always find the best way to see the heartbeat of a city is in the early hours – a morning run around Hoan Kiem didn’t disappoint…the sight of groups of old ladies practising a form of Tai Chi, stretching and aerobics along to traditional Vietnamese music was mesmerising and the encouragement to join in was too good to turn down…..

Vietnam is famous for its food and coupled with Pads’ love of everything food related this was always going to be a foodie itinerary. We arranged a kid friendly food tour of Hanoi with the fabulous Giang and were blown away by the experience – the Bun Cha was deliciously fresh and full of herbs, the Xoi Xeo sticky rice is proper comfort food, the Bahn Mi ridiculously addictive – we’re already hooked!, the Bahn Ran or Mung Bean Doughnuts were smashed by Gabsey but not the rest of us….brilliant when you have a kid who will eat anything! washed down with Cafe Cheung or Egg coffee which has now become a firm favourite and may even replace my love of Irish Coffee….basically liquid Tiramisu….even better with a splash of rum…All wrapped up with a beautiful Tuk Tuk ride through the French Quarter and Old Town.

Halong Bay and Phong Nha bought the next adventures and a further realisation that double kayaking is not to be entertained if you are in any way related as will only end in divorce, separation, and the need for therapy…..Pads and I had clearly erased our previous joint kayaking experiences from our memory and jumped into the cold waters of Halong Bay full of enthusiasm….what a peaceful 24 hours followed with neither of us speaking to each other apart from the odd mutter of “what part of left didn’t you understand”….

I’d decided we should experience rural Vietnam in as local a way as possible and found a very unique farmstay which was free to stay and you just had to labour in the fields for 5 hours a day to earn your keep…some locals suggested that this might be a bit tough on the kids, although I felt very character building, unfortunately was overruled and so we switched to the fabulous Phong Nha Farmstay….no child labour encouraged. This undiscovered region of Vietnam is unbelievably beautiful, famous for the Phong Nha National Park and some of the longest caves in the world it was the perfect place to unwind for a few days. We took some bikes out into the countryside for the day (after the kayaking experience decided to turn down the offer of a tandem bike…..may have been the shortest travelling trip in history if we had!) and discovered the “Pub with Cold Beer” where the beer was indeed cold and lunch involved catching your own chicken – very farm to table, and then hit the Duck Stop – one of the more bizarre hours of my life involving watching Evangeline get a duck massage (whilst I screamed in the background….my fear of anything that flaps was not conducive to this experience) and Gabriel riding “Donald Trum” the resident Water Buffalo…no words….although we did feel the need to return to the “Pub with Cold Beer” afterwards. We spent a day exploring Paradise Cave and the Dark Cave…truly majestic and meditative experiences, the scale of the caves and the fact that they were only opened to the public from 2012 made you realise what a special experience it was. The kids surprised us yet again with their fearless attitude to adventure and were the first on the 200ft long 50ft high zip lines, first through the tunnels in the caves and first to jump into the ice cold water…..have worked out there is no response to. “Mum, you have to do it, I’m only 6 and can do it, you’re how old…”

Next stop a whole week in Hoi An….

Happy New Year from Bangkok…..

After some packing disagreements and some UN style negotiation..apparently 6 kaftans and hair straighteners aren’t deemed essential travel necessities by Pads…we managed to zip shut the backpacks….not sure the kids fared too well looking at the end packing result. We headed off to Heathrow on a coach (yes an actual coach) well we did say we’d try new things…I haven’t been on a coach since the Manchester – London Megabus in the late 90’s…slightly different experience this time…

After the 48 hour journey back from Uganda via an unexpected East Africa adventure (would highly recommend Rwanda) the flight to Bangkok was always going to seem rather easy and we weren’t disappointed. We’ve spent a great few days in Bangkok wandering the markets, temples and eating amazing street food which is ridiculously cheap. Gabsey’s vocabulary has generally consisted of “that stinks” or “that’s disgusting”…the only time he’s been quiet is when he saw the Bangcroc street food stall…nothing like a spit roast crocodile to make him lost for words. Evangeline has been seduced by Thai foot massages and the flowers in the temples….incredible to see the Buddhist New Year celebrations.

The hostel which I feared was going to be so close to Khao San Road I was going to have to explain to the kids why the ladies were wearing their underwear outside bars, I was slightly relieved to find it a couple of streets back in a much quieter residential area. A traditional Thai house converted into a very small and charming hostel located on the banks of the canale….idyllic…well unless it’s New Years Eve in Bangkok. We managed to squeeze the kids to stay awake until 11pm with the promise of sparklers only to be woken by the dulcet tones of German Techno pop at 5am by 3 young lads in the room next to us. Amazingly the kids slept through so Pads and I had a big box, little box dance off until they ran out of steam and passed out…

Next stop Vietnam where we’ll spend a few weeks travelling down from Hanoi to HCMC. South East Asia is apparently “all mine”….I thought this meant just booking some accommodation….failed to understand that I needed to book transport too so this may be an interesting few weeks. Backpacks are all repacked although Pads has implemented a strict no backpack sharing policy (always thought sharing was caring) so I’ve already had to sacrifice some clothing…