A very relaxing 6 hour train journey on the Spirit of Queensland took us to magical Magnetic Island….what a special place! We hiked, hiked and hiked some hikes which due to the remoteness of the bays and lack of roads on the Island is the only way you can really explore. We set off full steam walking from Horseshoe Bay to Radical Bay over the coastal rocks slightly apprehensive of crocodiles and snakes ( you really wouldn’t have thought we’d lived in Africa for 10 years) and arrived at a beautifully isolated beach far sweatier and hotter than we had ever been. After catching our breath under a coconut tree where there was a random piano (!!) we realised the kids were not going to make the trek back…ever resourceful Pads noticed a group of Aussies who’d arrived by speedboat and were celebrating in classic style with a few cans of beer in the ocean. After a brief chat we’d managed to bag a ride back on the boat…hysterically the guy announced he’d had “too many tinnies” and insisted Pads drove the boat back…he was in heaven! An evening hike to Hawkins Point to watch the sunset was slightly easier and armed with a bottle of Aussie plonk we watched the sun go down – the walk back down after a few glasses and in pitch black proved a little more challenging!.

Still on the search for some Australian wildlife we headed out super early to Bremner Point to have breakfast with the rock wallabies. The famous Fort Walk beckoned which gave us the most amazing views of the Island and allowed us to spot a koala – ridiculously cute and I may even have let out a little squeak of joy. On the way back Pads delightedly informed everyone we met along the path about where the Koala was and ended up leading a tour group of about 15 to see the little fella…..!

A slightly delayed overnight train journey on the Spirit of Queensland meant we got to hang out at a proper Australian Pub and indulge in our first Schooner….and maybe our second! A long debate ensued about what on earth a “POKIE” was…Pads’ shout of a hot dog was far off the mark and my guess of an adult only viewing room was widely wrong….apparently it’s slot machines! So excited we were by our traditional Aus experience we (I) managed to lose our wallet ….. thankfully we were reunited with it the next day!

We were emphatically told that you couldn’t visit Queensland without sailing around the Whitsundays….the best recommendation we’ve been given and we are in love with this group of Islands. Ridiculously amazing and the photos don’t even do it justice. We spent two nights on a beautiful catamaran sailing to beautiful bays, snorkelling amongst the reef which was the colour of rainbows, trying to find our feet with paddle boarding (not that successfully!), magical star gazing late into the night and just totally switching off. The only downside was that it was so bloody hot that we ended up sleeping with our heads out of the cabin windows and had some rather burnt feet from the incredibly hot deck! Special, special, special.

A quick hop on back on the Spirit of Queensland and we arrived in Harvey Bay to explore Fraser Island and the best tour guide ever in the history of Tour guides..Shed – his name was actually Sid but I was convinced he’d said Shed so continued to call him it all day whilst Pads looked on slightly bemused. He was hysterical and talked incessantly from the moment we met until we left, literally only stopping to catch a breath. We knew it was going to be a fairly amusing day when having pulled up to the ferry crossing, Shed jumps out of the van to chat to his mates and leaves the hand break off…a poor guy had to jump into the cab head first to stop us crashing – didn’t bode well for a full day of 4×4 driving on the beaches! Fraser Island is made up entirely of sand and boasts amazing rainforest, the 75 mile beach, Eli Creek and McKenzie Lake – was incredible to see such diversity in such a small area. Although I wish we’d known quite how bumpy the experience was going to be as I would definitely have worn a sports bra and not sat right at the back with the To top it all off we nearly missed the ferry back to the mainland as Shed was regaling us with stories of Steve Irwin..made it with moments to spare which was lucky as otherwise we would have to have spent the night one the beach with the dingos!

Next stop Coolum bay and surf school….bloody hell!…if our paddle boarding escapades are anything to go by we are in serious trouble!….

We landed in Cairns dreaming of Koala Bears, Kangaroos, Dingos, Wallabies, and meeting couples named Bruce and Sheila whilst humming “Suddenly” by Angry Anderson incessantly…(you know you remember it off by heart!…think it was my first every vinyl way before vinyl was considered cool). Disclaimer up front that I’ve never had any real desire to travel to Australia so I had little expectations….surely the best way to travel!

First stop was Cairns where we stayed at a brilliant hostel called Bounce, to be honest probably much more enjoyable if you’re 19 which most of the people staying there were……I styled it out whereas Pads maybe not so much (!). I couldn’t avoid the looks of horror on people’s faces as the kids tried to join their game of pool and volleyball in the pool – nothing like a 6 and 7 year old to disrupt the drinking games and heavy petting! To stop us sinking into depression we hit the Vietnamese Banh Mi shop….these things are seriously addictive!

We spent a few days driving up the North Queensland coast to Palm Cove, Port Douglas and Daintree Rainforest. An unbelievably beautiful coastline with blue seas, pristine rural beaches all surrounded by lush rainforest. The only slight problem with exploring Northern Queensland in February is the heat and humidity….we had no idea it was going to be quite so sticky….even the sea was like sinking into a a warm bath! It’s also jellyfish season during February so you can only swim within the stinger nets…gave it a try but quite quickly jumped out as I’m sure I could feel things stroking my legs and the kids kept looking for sharks and jellyfish!

Queensland is home to the Great Barrier Reef so first opportunity we had we jumped on a Catamaran to explore the northern reefs – we had an amazing day sailing the Low Isles, Coral Cay Island, swimming with sharks, and snorkelling around the reef. It was a great opportunity for the kids to do some school work on climate change and the oceans…letter to António Guterres winging it’s way to UN Headquarters from G asking for a global ban of plastic!

A leisurely drive back down the coast allowed us to explore Mossman Gorge and hike up Stoney Creek waterfall…the fresh water pools were amazing to swim in and offered some relief from the stifling heat. We were all going well until E, G and I decided to walk back down the Waterfall through the rock pools and G cut his leg on a rock…with blood rushing from his leg and screams of “I can see my bone” (he seems to have inherited the Bayliss exaggeration gene – it was just a scratch!)…I had it totally under control well until E & I fell into a deep waterhole and both kids started shouting for Daddy!…..Pads came to the rescue and fished us all out – quite clearly no one would pick me for their team for SAS Survivor.

No Koalas, Kangaroos, Dingos, Wallabies, Bruce or Sheila’s yet….utter disappointment! Thankfully it gets cooler the further down the coast you travel….here’s hoping so as my hair has never been bigger and my freckles never quite so many!…

After another dodgy accommodation booking…I really haven’t covered myself in glory with my accommodation choices for Cambodia….we ended up swiftly moving to a little place across the road where the room at least had windows and the swimming pool wasn’t being used to wash clothes! One of the main reasons to explore Cambodia was to spend some time at Angkor Archeological Park and the many many temples….safe to say that this was much higher up on my agenda than anyone else’s! Armed with my full and slightly ambitious schedule of temple exploring we were ready to go although I can’t say that my excitement was matched by P, E & G but to be fair I think my enthusiasm was enough for all of us. We worked out quite quickly that you could spend weeks at the Archeological Park and still miss some of the hidden gems but with our local tuk tuk driver (quite how we managed to get the slowest tuk tuk driver of all time I have no idea!) we (mainly I) set off on a determined mission to see as much as we could…..

We spent the first day exploring the Bayon Temple and Phnom Bakheng and only just started to hear the murmurings of “they all look the same” and “once you’ve seen one temple you’ve seen them all” by about 5pm. Not to be defeated I rallied the fairly despondent troops for a 5am start the next morning to see the sunrise of Angkor Wat promising a deeply serene, meditative and peaceful experience. Unfortunately we were to be greeted with something that looked slightly more like Black Friday at Asda with people rushing in the dark to get the best spots by the lake in front of the temple and over enthusiastic stall holders pretending to be Harry Potter or James Bond offering exhorbiantly priced coffee. Whilst finding a quiet spot away from the crowds we saw the sun rise behind the temple which was pretty amazing to see but really slightly ruined by the insane amount of selfie sticks, clicking of cameras and hoards of people. My impromptu art class of temple drawing followed which E embraced with pure enthusiasm, G lasted about 5mins before he got distracted and Pads literally walked off before we started. An afternoon exploring the smaller temples off the beaten track beckoned…if you ever get the chance to go these smaller temples are the ones to explore. Ta Prohm, made famous in Tomb Raider (knew there was value in showing it to the kids), was the clear favourite, totally magical and allowed us to explore the ruins, marvel at the ridiculous shapes of the trees growing through the ruins and try some pretty advanced vine climbing. I also got to experience one of my wishes to spend some time meditating with the temple monks and we were blessed to be given a special family Buddhist blessing…truly memorable…until the kids started to giggle when sprayed with holy water!

It was quite clear that I had exhausted my temple exploring schedule so conceded to a morning Zip Wiring through the canopy’s of Angkor Wat Archelogical Park….kids loved it and the honeymoon swing allowed Pads and I too recreate our very own Tarzan and Jane moment…although slightly less elegantly and thankfully more fully clothed!

Siem Reap gave us the opportunity to overindulge with ridiculously cheap massages which were on offer on every street corner (E now thinks are going to be a regular part of this trip…how sorely she is mistaken…), copious amount of chicken rice and some of the best ice cream we’ve tasted..What a perfect way to a finish our time in Cambodia…

We knew that we were going to be in need of some R&R after Vietnam and Cambodia so we smashed the budget and stayed in a gorgeous 3 bedroom villa with private pool in beautiful Bali. Slight waste as needless to say the kids refused to sleep in their own room so we all ended up bunking into together…..looks like we’ll only need a 1 bed house when we finish this trip! E&G really deserved a treat after the numerous temple escapades and genocide museums so we decided to surprise them with a day at Waterboom – Bali’s premier water park….ridiculously fun although by the 8th time down “The Python” I was starting to feel a little sick! A day soaking up the sun at one of the Island’s famous beach clubs followed and we all felt reinvigorated and ready to hit Australia!

Battambang offers a slice of the traditional Cambodia….along with some delicious Khmer food, incredibly cheap beer and the friendliest people…we loved it…!

After my Phnom Penh Chinese brothel dodgy booking Pads decided to double check the accommodation I’d booked for Battambang…….a worrying question of “what exactly was the reason for booking this one?” followed and a quick review of comments left by previous guests about cockroaches, rubbish in the pool and rooms only accessible by windows led to a list minute rebooking. I was gutted as I was still arguing that although the brothel wasn’t ideal it was at least cheap and saved us some money, the booking cancellation left me with no argument! Am so glad we did rebook as we stayed in an amazing little gem with a gorgeous pool, wonderful staff and a bath!. Battambang gives you a view into old Cambodia coupled with an interesting art and cafe scene…it’s also by far the cheapest stops we’ve made. The NGO community here is also incredible and there are fantastic community partnerships with lots of the restaurants, hostels and tour operators.

The Bamboo train was ridiculously fun and a little bizarre……you basically sit on some old cushions on some strips of bamboo attached to a motor and rush through the Cambodian countryside at 30mph…if you meet anyone coming the opposite way you need to dismantle your “carriage” and remove it from the tracks to let them pass….kids absolutely loved it!

We’d been advised that we should get out into the countryside as much as possible so booked a half day bike tour with Soskabike, a sustainable eco tourist outfit which takes you a gentle 20km meander through the local villages visiting local families and learning how they are keeping alive traditions.. had a pretty good attempt at rolling out some rice paper, ate some delicious dried banana and avoided the rice wine with the fermented snack. Was a brilliant experience but a Cambodian 20km is definitely not my idea of 20km..5 hours after we started we were still cycling in the burning sun with our local guide keep saying only 1.5km to go which he’d been saying for the last 2 hours! I’m starting to realise that the kids are at an age where they pick up everything you say and have no qualms about repeating it….normally at top volume in the most in appropriate setting…Gabriel was clearly listening to me intently and announced as he sat down in a packed cafe “ s**t my undercrackers….”…must watch what I say…

Phare Ponleu Selpak Circus (Phareps.org) was the most fabulous recommendation, an NGO for disadvantaged youngsters focussing on promoting and keeping alive Cambodia arts and culture which was banned under the Khmer Rouge . It was amazing…Ridiculously talented performers, imaginative production and hilarious content! Gabriel was quick to point out the very impressive tumbler who had “huge muscles” – couldn’t say I noticed although he with lithe, flexible, able to bend in ways you could only imagine, a very rhythmic hip action….I think Pads had picked up my distraction and trying to reclaim some masculinity told me how he used to be very good with a yo-yo…..snapping back out of my daydream I tried to cover my tracks and said I would be very excited to see his “round the world” trick. I’ve already googled and there is another show in Siem Reap….all booked!

Those that know me well will know that I have a massive phobia of anything that flaps….I’m trying to work out how so far this trip I’ve managed to be subjected to duck massages, pigeon feeding and now the bat cave…..nothing like sitting underneath 7 million bats that fly out of a cave every evening at 5pm. Spent a good 45 minutes in a state of fear which the kids found highly amusing especially when I noticed I was covered in bat poo and thought it had started to rain….bat wee…

Siem Reap next…..I offered to take over home schooling for the morning to give Pads a break…needless to say the kids loved Tomb Raider and I got a little bit of sunshine!